Of choices and rare conviction;

I've been vigorously applying for jobs everywhere. It kinda scares me these days, that i will be graduating in 2 weeks' time. The contract for x has arrived abt 1.5 weeks ago and upon receiving it, i immediately stowed it deep inside my cupboard, almost wishing that if it were out of sight, it would really be out of mind for me. I feel that I have so much passion and energy in me for my first job and that youth is too precious to be wasted on something that I would only enjoy perhaps 40% and the sheer lackluster response that I have with x contract just deters me from signing it.

I feel that all my life, I have been listening way too much to people who at some points in my life, dished out advices which they felt were important at some times in their lives. As much as I do appreciate their thoughts, I often regret taking them.

That has to end now. Regret is a poison to one's mind and soul and this time round, I will have none of that anymore. I will explore my options and hopefully find one that fits. A choice that is rightfully mine to love and to hate whichever the outcome may be. One thing I know for sure is that I would be at peace and stop externalizing my inadequacies by tending my own garden.

Dear Universe, please work with me on this one. (: