the present is indeed a present

Ubud evoked so much feelings within me. The classes made me realized how badly I've been abusing my body and how I need to stop taking it for granted. Awareness is the first step but somehow I still feel that I've left my heart in Ubud.

Should I go back or should I not? Decisiveness is not my forte at this moment.

How do you quit something that has become the best part of you?

love her version, so earnest and heartwarming!

Of choices and rare conviction;

I've been vigorously applying for jobs everywhere. It kinda scares me these days, that i will be graduating in 2 weeks' time. The contract for x has arrived abt 1.5 weeks ago and upon receiving it, i immediately stowed it deep inside my cupboard, almost wishing that if it were out of sight, it would really be out of mind for me. I feel that I have so much passion and energy in me for my first job and that youth is too precious to be wasted on something that I would only enjoy perhaps 40% and the sheer lackluster response that I have with x contract just deters me from signing it.

I feel that all my life, I have been listening way too much to people who at some points in my life, dished out advices which they felt were important at some times in their lives. As much as I do appreciate their thoughts, I often regret taking them.

That has to end now. Regret is a poison to one's mind and soul and this time round, I will have none of that anymore. I will explore my options and hopefully find one that fits. A choice that is rightfully mine to love and to hate whichever the outcome may be. One thing I know for sure is that I would be at peace and stop externalizing my inadequacies by tending my own garden.

Dear Universe, please work with me on this one. (:

In my head, it's all in my head

where troubles melt like lemondrops

I think we're superstars (:

what do you do when the dust settles after the worst disaster strikes you?

I reckon that we are kinda like houses. houses of our souls. When a disaster strikes, all could be lost, damaged or simply wrecked beyond recognition. With its protective cover in shambles, the soul faces extreme distress and slips into the lowest of low. It is then a test of resilience, strength, love (for yourself) and hope (for life and the better part of it) to garner the will to pick up the pieces, each and every brick that went into the construction of you; childhood, values, experiences. On a brighter note (just 'cos everyone is hyped up about self-improvement these days), you would also reconstruct the parts which were faulty even before the disaster, those which you brushed off with "if it ain't broken, don't fix it" previously.

It may take months or even years and there may be times when you throw in the towel in despair. But when all is put right, you find new qualities in yourself which could never have been grown; ultimate RESPECT for yourself - for knowing that nothing could ever strike you down so low that you could never arise from, APPRECIATION for people who were there to help you pick up the pieces and knowing that you would do the very same for them and FEARLESSNESS of the great unknown.

The undesirable things that you could have done instead would be either to rebuild your house in a haphazard manner which would never be able to sustain any growth of your soul or weather any storms, or rebuild your house with many new protective layers and fences around it which would limit your soul to mere glimpses of the world.

I only hope that when it happens to me, I could rebuild myself, wholly and with just a little more.

May the Japanese maintain their calm selves and find their way out of this near complete destruction in a manner only they can and may the spirit of Kaizen burn more fervently in their times of need.